Old-Age and Reflection
Currently, I am 26 years old. My mother is 55 years old. This is all happening in 2020.
In recent months, I’ve realized my mom has a hard time hearing. I am both sad and frustrated. We have communicated so long with listening and understanding. But now, I have to admit to myself, it is not the same anymore. My mom listens to me but finds it hard to understand me. Either words get misunderstood or it was never heard, to begin with.
I feel sad. And sometimes, this sadness becomes a frustration for what it was before. You were a mom who heard me. You may not have understood me at every turn but you heard me.
I am disappointed with myself too. This is what I took for granted. Behind the sadness and frustration was a longing for what was before; a mom who hears, but my mom can’t hear as well anymore. And I have to question back myself. Did I take my mom for granted? When she could hear well, I had taken it that she’ll always be like that. And now that she can’t, I am actually upset with her.
I don’t like this part of myself and it’s completely unfair to her.
Things are constantly changing. As I live my life, seconds of my loved ones’ day are passing too. I’m changing and everyone else too. A day can happen, where I’ll turn around, and you’re not the same anymore. This is the truth.
A truth that contains weaves, fumbles, stops, turns, and constant questions without answers.
A new you. An old you. Whoever you are, I guess let us just share the seconds together.
Originally published at http://thepeajournal.wordpress.com on October 15, 2020.
